Neither Quick nor a Flick

I apologize.  I have misled you.  Here you are expecting a lovely little snippet of fun and I am about to give you questions and demand answers and be quite out of hand.  Please help me.

This poor girl not only has no idea of what is appropriate day wear, she has nothing to hold.  What is in her hands? I have no idea.... your W-4 from the filing cabinet?  Yesterday's laundry?  WHAT IS SHE HOLDING?!
if  you tell me what she is holding, I promise to clean it up and make it nice.